August

Here we are, already into August. Summer has flown by and has included a fabulous family vacation to Galveston and a trip to Illinois to meet new family. Serious battles with Japanese beetles and powdery mildew. Lots of time in the swimming pool and at Adventureland. Bike rides, walks, and an attempt at being a runner (I think I’ve given up on that). Insanity at work every day but perseverance and appreciation for my job. A challenging and convicting sermon series in Ezra along with an attempt to read a book by a Puritan. And now, August.

August brings so many feelings. Still. Because one is never done with cancer, after all. It is still here. I still think about it daily, but not with the intensity or frequency as before. But August brings a lot of things to the surface. It was when I found my lump. Mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy, diagnosis and mastectomy. It has been almost two years. Sometimes it feels like yesterday, but most of the time it feels like ages ago.  I was recently asked if I feel physically different than before, and I don’t even remember how I felt back in early August, 2015. I think I feel mostly the same, but add in hot flashes, memory problems, hip bursitis, foot cramps, the need for additional sleep, total lack of sensation across my chest (which can be really annoying) and silicone implants. Physically, I think I am the almost same. But everything else is different, and better. I truly understand contentment. I value time and want more of it. In my weakness I was able to understand reliance on Christ and the strength that brings. And I know what matters and what does not.

Looking ahead, I think I am going to embrace the pink this October. I still get annoyed that people make gobs of money off my disease, but it is also an opportunity for me to celebrate. I survived this wretched disease and came out better because of it. 

My goofball family!