Well, I had my third chemo infusion last Friday. People ask how it went, but you have to remember that I feel the effects for many days following. My weekend was a waste. I could barely get out of bed. Despite really wanting to go to work yesterday, I couldn't get up and get going. My stomach is upset all the time (not nauseus, but not good either), I have thickened saliva (yep, super gross), and if I take any more Dulcolax without results I am going to sue the company that makes it. So feeling like this makes me feel a little grouchy and makes me dread the very long road stll ahead. I just want to be done with chemo, but I have 13 sessions left to do. I want to get rid of the rock-hard tissue expanders in my chest but I'll be lucky if that happens in March. And the day I get this awful port out of my chest will be about the best day ever...in February. So, I guess I have just been having a hard time seeing beyond my daily struggles. I know it gets better and good days will be here soon - heck, I worked an 11 hour day last week and it was kind of awesome! But bad days are just that...bad.
In the midst of some recent bad days I have been reminded of just how much God will provide. On Saturday a friend randomly offered to take Marah to the park for the afternoon. She had no idea just how much that was needed, but God did and worked through her. The same friend took Marah for a couple hours on Sunday night and it was so appreciated. I'm not always going to ask for help, but if you feel like maybe I need something check in with me. I probably do need help.
Last night a very dear former colleague and friend brought me dinner. I am still thankful for dinners; cooking is hard when you can't get out of bed all day. In the 10 minutes she was in my home she managed to make me feel so loved, so prayed for, and so valued. And the meal she left was absolutely delicious.
So, that's it from here. Just hanging out, hoping to make it to work today. Hoping that I can see the light at the end of this very long tunnell soon.
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