Back on the mat!

Today I went back to Farrell's! When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I thought that I would be leaving Farrell's for a very long time. I assumed that there was no way that I would be back to complete my 10-week challenge. Over the last week my Farrell's coaches have been sending emails and making posts in our Facebook group about not giving up, and have been chiding those who haven't be attending class. I quickly found myself growing angry (I see a theme here) with the people who were able to do Farrell's but were choosing not to. Then, laying in bed one night and feeling pretty good, I changed my perspective. I could go back. Why not? Once the final drain was removed there wasn't really anything stopping me. So, on Monday night I decided that today would be my first day back.

I decided that I would keep it a secret and surprise nearly everybody. I did let Friday's instructor, who I adore, know of my plans in advance.  I also chatted with the plastic surgery nurse about it on Tuesday; she was concerned but I promised to listen to my body and take it easy. Today's workout was great. I couldn't punch the bag. I couldn't do jump squats (darn), burpees (double darn), sit ups, push-ups, planks, or keep pace. But I could do the arm movements and I definitely could kick the bag. Here is a sweet action shot of me:

Class was not easy. My intensity level was about 15% of normal. I got tired quickly, and every time I got up off the floor I blacked out (just a little). But it was so great! Perhaps the best part of today was seeing Jen's reaction when she saw me. It about killed me not telling her that I was coming back, but I did it! The coaches were equally surprised, and I noticed many of my teammates checking me out throughout the class. So, next week is week 10 of the challenge, and I am so happy that I can say that I am able to finish what I started.

One of the themes at Farrell's is NO EXCUSES. So, to all my friends who want to work out but don't...what's your excuse? Is it very good? I'm guessing it isn't. Because if I can show up two weeks after having my tits chopped off I bet you can do it, too. I REFUSE to let cancer be an excuse for anything.

Getting up at 4:20am and preparing to leave the house felt so NORMAL. I think that is one thing that I have been longing for; a sense of normalcy. When Marah was a newborn she cried non-stop. It was horrible. We threatened to make her a Safe Haven baby multiple times. I remember longing for things to be normal again, but also realized that my old "normal" no longer existed. And now, the normal of a month ago will never exist, either. I don't really know what my post-cancer normal will look like, but I know it will be good.