The cause I wasn't looking for

“It is not genetic.”

That’s what I told people so many times when they asked if my mom had breast cancer. That was a popular question…”did your mom have breast cancer”? Yes, she did, but I was BRCA 1 and 2 negative. So it wasn’t genetic.

I’ve spent the last 4.5 years not at all concerned about why I developed cancer. I knew the bigger picture of why. I got cancer simply because bad things happen in this sin-cursed world. My cancer gave me amazing opportunities to share my experiences and influence others. I was never looking to learn the medical cause of my cancer.

A couple months ago my mom went in for her regular mammogram. Her intake form showed a red flag based on family cancer history, so she was offered genetic testing just to see if there were any abnormalities. She agreed to the testing, and learned that she carries a mutation on the CHEK2 gene. This mutation is associated with a high risk of breast cancer. And there was a 50/50 chance she passed it along to me.

When my mom told me about the gene mutation, it was pretty clear to me that my result would come back showing that I am a carrier. How could I not be? And so, I got my results today, and I also have the CHEK2 mutation. I have a higher likelihood of getting breast cancer (ummmm…okay, got that part done!). And there is also an increased risk of colon cancer. Great.

My conversation with my doctor was interesting. She’ll pass my results along to my oncologist, but she doesn’t think we’ll need to do anything different in terms of my ongoing breast cancer treatment because I had a bilateral mastectomy. I am so thankful I made that decision all those years ago! If I had opted for a lumpectomy, or single mastectomy, I would have some pretty big decisions to make now. I should have started colonoscopies at 40, so I'll get one once COVID is under control. And those will repeat every 3-5 years until I'm 80. 

There is a 50/50 chance that I’ve passed this mutation along to Marah. She can’t be tested until she is 18, but I am grateful that she will know her risk well before I did. Even though this mutation is “rare”, I wonder why a full genetic testing panel isn’t done for everyone? Had I known that I carried this mutation back when I was 18, would I have opted for a preventative mastectomy and then avoided cancer and chemo altogether? Who know? But at least my child will have the information she needs to make an informed decision regarding her health. And for that I am grateful.

Time to share again

HOW DO WE USE OUR SUFFERING PRACTICALLY AS A TOOL TO EVANGELIZE THE LOST AND DISCIPLE BELIEVERS AROUND US?

This was a question posted during a Q&A at my church following our sermon series in the book of Job. My answer, of course, is to write about suffering. Talk about it. Let people know that life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but God’s grace abounds. But I haven’t been doing that lately. Not because I haven’t encountered suffering, but more because so much of my writing focused on cancer. And I don’t currently have cancer. I do see my oncologist this week for my semi-annual boob-poke, and that’s about all I have going on with cancer.

I’ve had two people in the last two weeks mention my blog to me. One person told me I am a good writer; I had no idea he had read my blog. Another person let me know that she enjoys my word choices. I have had blog posts that have lived only in my head, never having the opportunity to make it out. But now it feels like it is time to share again.

The last year has been rough on my family. There is an issue in my extended family that has been forefront in all our lives, with an undercurrent of sadness and extreme depression. I don’t talk about this ongoing issue because it is truly exhausting, and it isn’t my story to tell. Just know that we have been dealing with it, nearly every day, for almost a year.

…Should we accept only good from God and not adversity?... Job 1:10

God continues to work in our lives, and we praise him as we are presented with opportunities to glorify him. Last summer Troy and I had planned a family vacation to South Dakota. A couple months before the vacation, we had a nearly maxed out credit card and $1,500 of unpaid medical bills. We made the tough decision to cancel the trip because we realized we just couldn’t afford to go. It was a tough call to make, and for me, embarrassing to admit that we didn’t have the resources to make the trip happen.

Instead of going to South Dakota, we decided to visit Troy’s family. We spent a few days in Freeport, IL, with his dad, stepmom, and siblings. We then traveled to Madison, WI, to visit his cousin and family. It was a delightful trip. And just a month after our visit, Troy’s dad and stepmom were killed in a horrific motorcycle accident.

…a person’s days are determined and the number of his months depends on you … Job 14:5

I remember Troy’s phone call to tell me the news. I was getting Marah ready for bed, and he was out with friends after his weekly golf outing. I couldn’t understand what he was telling me. Both of them? What?

We were just there.

Part of what makes the loss of Bill and Cindy so tragic is that Troy had only reconnected with his father in the last few years. To make a long story short, Troy was successfully building new relationships with his father and newly found siblings. Time was such a gift. And we praise God for our unfortunate financial situation of last summer. It gave us family memories that are so cherished now.

Suffering doesn’t have to be cancer. It can be financial struggles. Infertility. Loss. Suffering is an inevitable part of our sin-filled world, but it is also an opportunity. A beautiful opportunity to evangelize the lost and disciple believers around us.

But I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the end he will stand on the dust. Even after my skin has been destroyed, yet I will see God in my flesh. I will see him myself; my eyes will look at him, and not as a stranger. My heart longs within me. Job 19:25-27